just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
