She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dicks are not precious.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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