im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
