Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
