Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
