why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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