I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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