I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
