Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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