If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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