I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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