i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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