Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
did i just pee glitter
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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