There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize