are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
