You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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