Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
