there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
