I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
