Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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