Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
