just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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