I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize