I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize