That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
