i already hear my dad disowning me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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