whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i think my cat just said my name.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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