he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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