Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
