So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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