Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
