no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
