Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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