If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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