The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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