i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
