your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
