I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
