ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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