My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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