If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
