best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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