just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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