I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize