I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
