I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
