we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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