Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
areolas are like halos for boobs.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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