Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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