If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize