his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
