God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The Olympian is in my bed
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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