I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize