i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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